anger 2 I've been following this #AfricanMumChallenge on Twitter and it's hilarious. All our mums were clearly cut from the same cloth. Worse still, I have turned into my mother - that African mum who walks in and says ""It's 7pm. Weka News," then walks to the bedroom and forgets I interrupted someonés TV time. Or the one who sends my littles to take my plate to the kitchen, then follows there after to go wash my hands in the same kitchen. Yes, I've even interrupted my son's playtime to get him to pick something from the floor because I'm too lazy/tired to get my backside off the couch. But the worst realisation is that African mums can be real meanies. I have an aunt who was the queen of sarcasm and rude remarks. I'd get home and ask her where my mum is and she would tell me, "She's here in my pocket!" If I made the mistake of asking her where an item of clothing is, the simple retort would be, "Kwani tunavaanga na wewe?" The acid tongue of course grew on me, and I found myself regurgitating some of those things to my kids. When I ask my kids to do something and they complain about how tired they are, I ask them if they spent the whole day tilling in the farm. Sometime in the past two years, God begun convicting me about my meanness. Empathy wasn't just a word for people out there. It's also a word for us mums. I wondered if my son would receive the love of God from me or identify with my prayers if he thought of how horrible a person I am. So I started to practice empathy with my kids, being mindful of their feelings, being actually being aware that they have feelings. Then I started praying that since gentleness was a fruit of the Holy Spirit, that God would help me become a gentler mother and wife. I needed joy too; and goodness and self control. There's no trophy for being the mean bully mum who belittles my children and their feelings. But there is everything to gain from being a calm, gentle and respectful mum. Sijafika! But God is growing me. NB:// To that Kilimani Mum who was saying her kid makes her so angry she feels she may beat him to death one day- embrace the stretching. Parenting made me realise i had anger issues and pad patterns from my past and God helped me deal with them. Everything is a tool in God's hands to make you holy; even your own children will be like sandpaper, grating away at those annoying parts of your character and personality until you are what God needs you to be.

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  1. I bought a key holder, inscribed… Elizabeth means Godly…. And when my son read the words, he was like…. Na vile Wewe ni mkali, na vile Wewe huchuna watoto, and once he told me my sarcasm is like being rude…. Auch. I asked God To Help me be gentle, not to downplay their feelings…..iam now more conscious of how I speak and respond to them, and with gentleness, I see improved behaviour on their end, they are more happy and they can express themselves freely to me….. Sijafika. I know God is working on me.

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