Whenever I am having trouble loving my husband, or conjuring non-negative feelings towards him, I open my Bible in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 for a perspective check.
The world teaches us how to love conditionally. When he is being good, be great towards him. Make him a nice meal. Serve him warmly. Greet him with a kiss. Give him some and then some sizzling some. Write him a poem.
How about when he has not done good? When there is nothing worth celebrating? How about when I'm mad? Or when I'm neutral, complascent, don't care what you do/did/ will do? How about when I'm feeling "what about me, what about my needs, what about my feelings, what about me me me?" How about when I want to get even? "You did that? Watch me take it to the next level" kind-of-even?
Paul's infamous words to the Corinthians ground me. I ask myself: I'm I being patient and kind? In this particular circumstance, I'm being jealous, boastful or proud? I'm I demanding my own way? (Like always). I'm I irritable, a mood sucker? I'm I keeping a record of wrong? I'm I happy with an injustice or I'm seeking that truth wins? I'm I giving up, losing faith, losing hope? I'm I enduring through every circumstance?
I can bet you the answer to at least one of these questions will be yes every time. And then I know I'm not being loving.
Are you struggling with not nice feelings regarding your spouse? Are you lazy, hurt, seeking revenge, seeking to hurt back? Do you want to know what God would you rather do? Gauge your reactions or intentions with these love verses and pray that the Holy Spirit will help you ti be truly loving today.