There is a phenomenon that probably only introverts will understand. When you have hosted a party, or gone visiting friends or had a presentation infront of a group or just spoken up 'a little too much or too passionately' online or in a meeting, then that sinking feeling that comes afterwards of overanalyzing what you said, how you said, how you came off, how you looked, how well you did what you were doing... and just feeling like kicking yourself for being so much 'out there'.
As for me I feel like a crab that needs to run and hide in a hole, like sinking into bed and sleeping for 12 straight hours, like a tortoise that just needs to recoil for a long time before I get the courage to face the world again. It's not a good feeling.
Kwanza this December when I've been doing a lot of people-ing - bashes, lunches, visits... all so much for the expressive me, then afterwards feeling like a blob of slime, like I have an internal wound that needs to rest and heal, like I've been bruised. I don't know if I will get stop feeling like hiding after extroverting.
Today, I told God that instead of hiding in a Hallmark binge or my bathroom, I will hide in Him. I will ask God to recharge those depleted reserves. I will ask Him to help me stop overanalysing if I was a great host or if my presentation was on point and just be normal. I will turn my reclusion into a God moment. If He is a refuge in times of trouble, He is a refuge in times of overcritical brains, sinking emotions, tired host, wounded spirit, dipping dopamine levels. He gives strength to the weary.
Psalm 32:7 You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble;You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah.
You are my hiding place and my shield;
I wait for Your word.
Keep me as the apple of the eye;
Hide me in the shadow of Your wings
For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle;
In the secret place of His tent He will hide me;
He will lift me up on a rock.
You hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the conspiracies of man;
You keep them secretly in a shelter from the strife of tongues.
For You have been a refuge for me,
A tower of strength against the enemy.