Love at 21
Love at 21. Anyone else who thought they had met the man or woman they were going to spend their ever after with at this age? I did. This is the age when you can't imagine your life without this person and you say things to that effect."I can't imagine my life without you." "It will be the saddest thing if we do not end up together." "I will always love you." The lies we tell ourselves and others! God looks and laughs.
This memory was triggered recently by certain 21-year-olds on social media who are love-struck by bad boys or by by boys who aren't that much into them. And like the 21-year-olds that we were, they can't imagine their will ever be any happiness beyond that man. They would rather live with a mistake and be in love than risk leaving the object of their desire and fantasy and risk whatever else is out there. They'd rather lose their testimony than be alone.
This memory for me is a testimony to the fact that God always has the best at heart for us - even when we can't trust the hand that's shuffling the cards. I remember myself at 21, dreamy and hopeful in third year at the university, love-struck and heart broken by a boy who would never love me the way I needed to be loved because - God! I couldn't understand why God was not giving me my happily ever after at 21. I longed for a change of circumstances, and wrote poems and prayed and cried but nothing. More empty promises and more heartbreak. The good thing with heartbreak or unrequited love in the life of a believer is that it makes you lean harder on God. When I finally almost gave up on this love I remember writing a prayer to God telling him to show me what to do with all that love that overwhelmed my heart. I was done with Egypt and it's pomegranates and watermelons that loved you today and tomorrow didn't. I gave all that love to God to do with it whatever He wished.
Finally I was ready for a new start and I
remember praying for a boyfriend who would knock my socks off but God ni nani? Out of a Moi uni campus of sijui 5,000 people and with my many alliances across Chepkoilel, Maseno, KU and UoN yaani God couldn't get a me a hot, Jesus-loving, hot, Me-loving, hot, boyfriend who wears nice clothes and knows how to talk and can connect with me? I didn't understand why God was saying no to my prayers for being eternally loved at 21.
Three years later, after having my heart broken by a plate of lentils and me breaking two or more brothers' hearts, a man I had met at the university proposed to me. Among those 5,000 or more campus students God had answered my prayers but I never knew it because my physical eyes were blinded by the watermelons of Egypt and a plate of lentils. At 21 I didn't see how God could have better for me than those watermelons.
Dear 21-year-old trying to make a man or woman love you. Dear 21-year-old trying to change a man or girl to fit your bill. Dear 21-year-old willing to stake your salvation for the love of a mortal man who is leading you to depression and hell. Stop. Imagine time is not running out. Imagine you have your whole life ahead of you. Imagine you will meet the right person for you, who will love you in just the right ways without you having to beg or arm twist for it. Imagine the world is your stage. Your real love could be in Turkestan or New Zealand and you are there limited by the river banks of your village. Your prince charming will come. Sleeping beauty will awaken. You will find the Cinderella who perfectly fits the glass slipper. Trust God, that when the time is ripe, He will send the right person. He did for me and I'm still floored by God's Providence in this man. Vituko nilijionea on those love streets, let's say I was able to recognise the real deal when we finally got down to a coffee. What if I had stayed stuck with my watermelons and lentils soup?